At the end of the day, who has the last say?

When did it happen? When did we say it was
"ok" for coaches or band or drama directors
to run our children's lives? Often when I go
to church on Sunday and I listen to our
Pastor he talks about priorities in families.
His message is about the need to make faith
a priority in our children's lives because
often times games, or productions or what
have you, take priority over going to church
or participating in youth programs. I see it
every day when we have parents that sign
their teens up for driver training and get
totally frustrated because they can't find
enough time in a week to get "everything"
done. They can't make a class because their
football practice runs for six hours on a
Saturday or the coach called a last minute
practice and if the student has other
priorities and doesn't come - they'll get
kicked off the team. Really? Is this what
we want for our kids? The question keeps
coming up for me - why? Why do we, as their
parents, continue to allow this to happen?
Is it that we think they have a shot at a
sport's scholarship for college, or they
might make it in the big leagues, so we think
it's necessary? Or are we living vicariously
through our children and watching them out on
the field makes us feel good. What is it
that drives this behavior?



What concerns me most is the short cuts
parents take in order to "allow" this to
continue to happen. While I recognize the
need for students to be involved in
extra-curricular activities - must it take
over their lives? We know for a fact that
motor vehicle crashes are the leading cause
of death for teenagers, but when push comes
to shove do we choose sports practice over
driving practice, band camp over driving
lessons? Are we putting our kids out on the
road with little to no training and even less
practice because other things got in the way?
I am writing this article as a thought
provoker. Is this really what we want for
our kids? Have the coaches and directors
gone too far? If so, how do we get back to
what really IS "in the best interest of our
children?" How do they stay involved, but
also gain balance and focus on what is really
important? Parents, this is our job. Do you
really think that football, baseball,
basketball, cheer, band, drama, golf - you
name it is so critically important that it
MUST take precedence over anything else in
their lives? If this is how prioritizing
happens at this young and impressionable age,
what chance do they have for achieving a real
balance in life when they become adults and
one-day parents? Is this frenzied life what
we really want for our kids? I would welcome
dialogue on this topic.

Questions for Parents of Teens Getting Ready to Drive

Are you the parent of a teen that’s at that magic age when he/she is eligible to begin driving? Here are a few questions that you should consider.

1. Is he/she mature enough for the responsibility?
This is the most important question that a parent needs to consider. Does your child exhibit sufficient self-control and maturity to handle the responsibility of being in control of a 2,000+ pound missile loaded with 10 to 30 gallons of explosive liquid? If you aren’t comfortable with your answer, then serious discussion between you and your teen should occur before you begin the licensing process.

2. Who will do the training?
Today, there are usually many options available to the parent. I’ll bet that most of us were first exposed to driving in a parking lot or on a quiet residential street by a parent or older sibling. For most, this was just the beginning.

It used to be that most high schools offered driver education courses as an elective; now that is the exception, rather than the norm. These classes were designed around classroom instruction for 30 hours of seat-time. Why 30? Because that was the number of hours required to grant partial credit as an elective course. This has been picked up as the required standard by some states, and by some insurance companies for discount eligibility.

Unfortunately, I have yet to hear from anyone that participated in this type of class that didn’t say they were bored out of their minds while learning very little of practical value. That’s not to say the content was bad, it simply validates studies that rate classroom lectures as the most ineffective teaching method. Check out the DrivingMBA FAQ page for more information on the Learning Pyramid.

A popular option is for parents to take on the responsibility of teaching their teen to drive (~1/3 of teens are taught this way). After all, if my dad could teach me how to drive, why shouldn’t I be able to do the same for my kid? Part of the problem is that both vehicles and roadways, while safer, are far more complex and sophisticated than they were 20 years ago. An NHTSA study of Texas results determined that this was the least effective method of teen driver training, even though the Texas program is one of the most elaborate. Download the study here.

3. How much training will he/she get?
The industry standard is a varied amount of classroom training, ranging from 30+ hours for those schools still adhering to the 1/2 credit concept, to the minimum necessary to adequately understand and retain the rules of the road. This is usually followed by 6 hours of actual road time with an instructor. With the advent of Graduated Drivers License laws, many states require that the parent or guardian attest to a number of practice driving hours with the permit holder prior to licensing.

4. Who will provide the practice time?
Practice time is critical to the development of the new driver. This usually falls on the shoulders of one or both parents. Once the teen has gained some confidence behind the wheel, all driving while the teen is in the vehicle should be done by the teen, unless physical condition makes this unadvisable. The teen has to get exposure to varied conditions and routes in order to really gain meaningful experience. Driving every day to and from school as the only driving practice might serve to meet the minimum requirements, but only means that they are very experienced on that route, and under the same conditions.

5. What kind of vehicle will be available?
If the teen attends a commercial driving school, the likelihood is that the vehicle will be a smaller model. Schools choose these vehicles for economy reasons, but it serves a very different purpose as well. The student is introduced to driving in a vehicle that is easier to control. The transition to driving the family van or SUV or sports sedan is an area where parents need to exercise caution. Start slowly, and make certain that the teen is comfortable with where the corners of the vehicle are when he/she is behind the wheel and in control of maneuvering past that mailbox.

6. What kind of vehicle will he/she be driving after licensing?
Many parents believe that bigger is better/safer. While it might be somewhat safer for the occupant of the vehicle in a collision with another, smaller vehicle, the notion of safety is misplaced. A safer vehicle is one that is within the capabilities of the driver to control its operation. A larger vehicle has a much higher center of gravity, and reacts much differently when a sudden steering or braking maneuver is executed.

There was a school of thought that advocated a large older sedan as the first vehicle. The thinking was that it was inevitable that the teen would experience a collision, so buy something cheap. Older vehicles have less modern safety features, and may encounter mechanical problems, so this is no longer seen as a good idea. Besides, why on earth should it be a given that the teen will be in a collision? Proper preparation just might be a better answer.

7. How will you know he/she is ready to drive solo?
You are no longer on edge and tense in the passenger seat while the teen drives, and you can actually do something other than maintain constant vigil over what is happening. The teen has demonstrated a level of responsibility that allows you to entrust him/her with his own life and the lives of others on the road at the same time. You have discussed and signed a driving contract and have established clear expectations and consequences. The teen is ready.

Seven Steps/Phases In the Process of Becoming an "Experienced Driver"

The insurance industry, based on the surcharge placed on new teen drivers for the first few years, believes that maturity is the key to safer driving behavior. If you wait until you are 25 to learn to drive, even though you have no experience, you will not be penalized with an increased premium. Implicitly, the insurance companies are totally discounting the value of proper training for a new driver.

In thinking about the process of gaining experience behind the wheel, I have identified the following 7 steps:

1. Learning Basic Vehicle Controls

2. Learning the Rules of the Road

3. Mastering Vehicle Controls

4. Executing Normal Vehicle Maneuvers

5. Developing Situational Awareness

6. Negotiating Hazardous Conditions

7. Learning Personal and Vehicle Limitations

The steps are not necessarily serially executed. The learning process takes place over time, and application of technology available today can significantly reduce the time needed to become an "Experienced Driver", especially in the latter steps.

The real goal should be to instill safe driving habits and behaviors as early as possible in the process, and to accelerate the process wherever practical to reduce the window where the new driver is a greater risk to all of us.